FGS is a silent plague, hidden in the invisible walls surrounding the lives of women. It spreads depictions of women as over-emotional and determined by selflessness, unconditional care and devotion to others to the extent of sacrificing one's own sake. This project is a manifesto and an oppositional gaze to FGS that impose hegemonic meanings of womanhood and affect the lives and rights of women. In these series, women are what I call a transcendent community of gazes, re-writers and meaning reproducers of their past and present too.
First, by sharing their narratives on a childhood photograph that represents their early experiences of FGS; women navigate to their present life stage to trace and unveil the invisible structures of power that have affected their lives in different ways but unify them virtually. This transcendent community of gazes, enact what B. Hook's denominates "the oppositional gaze," by recreating a photograph that adds meaning to the conversational and contending ideas of what it is to be part of a resisting and free womanhood.
By applying photography and narrative as means of representation and meaning reproduction, this project's contribution is: first, making visible the negative impact of FGS in the lives of women on a cross-cultural level. Second, challenging dominant stereotypes of womanhood and bringing diverse meanings into contestation. Lastly, introducing an alternative way of photography and narrative as platforms used for and as human rights practice.
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The Gazes of this Transcendent Community: 5 courageous women
Pattranit's gaze to the past
*Pattranit choses to be referred as "Tam", that is how her friends call her. For the sake of maintaining her will, I incorporate her nickname in the narrative, but her name as sustains significance in this project, therefore I use it as in the tittles.
Living in a suburb area in Bangkok, Thailand with her mom, dad and her twin sister, her early experiences of FGS manifested not only through her family due to what she recognized as a result of "generational", but also through her school life up until high school, where she was basically "forced to be a woman and taught you to be a lady". Her experiences of FGS were dualistic. On the one hand "lady like", "you wear proper clothes, not too revealing, or [do not] date" also, "to be a good girl you were supposed to be smart". On the other hand, when it regarded "life", her idea of woman would come from pop culture, TV and Magazines, portraying "skinny and white woman". "I remember a weekday I would go to school I would look completely opposite of what I looked during weekend" for meeting her friends or the English club. "I think it was really hard for me, I was really hard on my self-image" she remembers; "my mom would tell me that she is not confident with her body and that would also influence me not being confident with my body", she also connects her struggle to the influence of mass media, "I knew I do not look like the women on TV and Media", -thin and pale-. She recalls: "five out of seven days a week I [was] not really myself, I had to wear uniform and not able to express myself fully". This caused changes in her eating habits, provoking her bulimia for eight years. During her young adulthood she remembers experiencing benign and hostile forms of FGS in her working environment. Her boss would tell her: "you are being a drama queen and very emotional", "she remembers that crying publicly was bad". While working as a media-content producer, she would encounter comments like "you need to fix a lot of your face if you want to be in front of the camera", "you are not pretty enough". Looking back, she remembers how hard it was to encounter those moments, but those do not affect her anymore.
"Me and my twin sister when we were 17 and thought this were cool hairstyle" she chose to caption this picture. This photograph represents to her "the vision of the girl that I wanted to be". Being able to look how she ought, "prettier" by wearing makeup on weekends and freely styling her hair. Now this has changed, but the sense of freedom and empowerment remains. She envisions herself as fit-strong, being a woman that is "confident and [who] knows what she's doing, because that the vision of a woman for me". What has changed also regarding her self image is her view on the skin color, "interestingly I don't want to be pale anymore" through her hobbies of surfing and diving, she started appreciating more her own skin "I like to have a tanned skin I really appreciate it".
Pattranit's gaze to her present
She recognizes that her experiences in Thailand as a girl and young woman did have a negative effect in her life. In Thailand, women's image is "so hard to obtain, it's unrealistic". Nevertheless this made her be more confident about herself. Her experiences of FGS have impacted first, her interpersonal relation, as she has been perceived by men through the lenses of "being a Thai woman", she offers the example of men's overconfidence by approaching her as if she "would fall for him because he buys dinner for her". The same applies as she also thinks of herself as a migrant woman and student in Sweden. Referring to the existence of Thai Parlor Massage Places here, and their stigma of them as brothels makes her "worry": "when people think of Thailand they also think of women", "I sometimes have this worry that people will see me in that light when I am here as well", "that I will come here and quickly find someone who take care of me and pay my bills" and that "I would look very tanned and eat spicy food". Her experiences also apply to the lack of job market opportunities and representation for/and as a Thai woman in Sweden. She describes it as "somehow scary", the fact that when she searches for work in Thai, "99% of the job opportunities are either working in Massage Parlor or serving in a restaurant". She remarks "I feel like I don't have a good representative of a strong Asian (or Thai) woman that works in a high position or a leading role in the companies in here (Sweden)", this makes her "feel less confident".
"It is ok to be you. You are strong and potential person and you can achieve something good in life. You don't have to be what other people or society told you to be, just be you," Tam talks to herself from the past. The left photo, where she stays in comfortable clothing, holds a cup of tea and sits carelessly smiling to the camera, represents "leaving a good life" to her; looking relaxed, natural, calm and confident in herself. The photo she chose to present on the right, is a sign of her resilience and confidence, it reminds her that wherever she goes, she can by herself always explore, "go around", "learn" many things and make her own way to success.
Melissa's gaze to the past
Growing up in Los Angeles with her siblings, her father and mom, it was "really tough from a social perspective", since "image is a really big thing there" such as having make-up, fashion or eating habits. Her first notions of FGS played a role from the outer and inner sides of her life. On the one hand, it was TV, Teen Magazines, Disney shows and commercials that showed "what a girl should look like", which would be generally representations of "white and faired skin women". On the other, it was from her inner family circle and her parents' roots as Filipino migrants. "For Filipino women" being a beautiful woman meant "having fair skin". Moreover, her mother, as being also influenced from the "asian" female stereotyping of her own generation, would be a big influence in how she saw herself: "She used to look at us and say 'when I was your age, I used to be a size 2'". "She would always emphasize that we weren't being girls enough" Melissa recalls when remembering her mom visiting them from Chicago where she was studying at the time. For her that caused in her an "over reliance" on media or external sources of a female role model. Melissa recognizes that her mother experiences as a professional migrant (psychiatrist) in a "white male dominant society" played a role in how she was addressed as a girl, "she (her mother) would always emphasize that we need to look our bests", "that we should put forth this really feminine, well made neat image." She also reminisces one moment in where as a child her mom put makeup on her and her sister for a school recital, but her teacher made them take it off: "I felt shame when they made me take the makeup off", that moment in the present makes her think that "as a woman you should be trying hard but you should make it look effortlessly. It's really unattractive if you are trying too hard or if you are not, I guess, fitting in a certain role".
The photograph on revisiting her childhood is captioned in itself as her meaning of the moment of "expressing [herself]" carelessly. She emphasizes that she felt overjoyed "to be like [her] mother" and brought her to the present and reminisced her feeling of her when wearing heels as an adult "a double edge sword, because you sort of fit into this role of what a woman is supposed to look like, but if it makes you feel better just do it. Don't detract from something that brings you confidence or joy". For her, when thinking about being a woman translates into also "support[ing] other women despite what choices they make and where those choices come from."
Melissa's gaze to her present
When she looks at those traces of FGS into her early adulthood and present, she finds an impact in several aspects of her life. First, in her standard of living, as she was constantly implied through the pressure of body image stereotypes that "food is not for you and your body doesn't belong to you, it belongs to other people", "body is to be seen for other people"; she also reflects on how much the pressure of image and fashion reflects on not having invested on things that really "fulfill you", such as "traveling". These experiences had an impact in her sense of life control and resulted in an eating disorder that she bore for a long time. Second, in her personal identity as she always would be perceived against an image of the "asian woman" or "a woman" as nurturing and caring; same that in her current context as a migrant woman and student in Sweden, as she perceives that in her interactions with other "white woman and man" there is always the perception of her as "secondary in terms of charisma". That also has repercussions on her life professionally and educationally, as she has to "take more time to build up [her] legitimacy before people say 'oh, she is actually really capable or really smart'" in her professional area of Business and Innovation. Several ways, she has encountered comments in class such as "women are emotional", traits that are seen as weak in biased "male qualities" structures and institutions that discriminate against women. Lastly, she sees a negative impact on her romantic life or relationships. She feels that in a relationship she would like to also be taken "care off " and not only being the one "making decisions", but conversely, she always finds herself expected as a woman "to take care of things and really trying to think about their needs and stop thinking about [her] needs", she perceives that "culturally" there is an idea that "to be worthy, you need to be a caretaker", and that she has experienced as an obstacle for achieving balance in her work life too. She meditates on the idea that when she settles down with a partner, he needs to be a person who also takes care of others and shares.
"My Body is for Me", Melissa choses to caption this photograph as her manifesto. She emphasizes that there is a meaningful symbolism in being portrayed naturally and without makeup, since she does not have to become someone for anyone, but herself. She also chooses an outdoor, colorful setting to express how much confidence and brightness she feels from inside, that is how she sees herself and irradiates to be seen.
Maria's gaze to the past
Growing up in a rural area in Greece, from a higher-middle class family of four, she remembers it "came along with a lot of stereotypes on how a woman should be inside [her] family". She remembers her mother as being an overcoming role of those traditional FGS. She remembers how despite "she had to give up her work to give birth to [her] and [her] brother", her mother persisted on resisting her daughter to be perceived as "female robot…, really caring and setting their needs aside to sacrificing them for the happiness of the family and not talk a lot", "she would always step in and defend me to have this 'loophole of freedom'". She remembers as a benign FGS being raised through the "values"of "being a good daughter, caring sister, respectful, not of course, to incorporate the values of [her] family as 'prudent and moral'". Being the opposite of these "female traits", she remembers was perceived from her family and her schoolmates as being a tomboy, not only would she be perceived as a "dissident of her own family", but recognized as in a "twisted way of womanhood", since the term implied that a girls' sexual orientation was also non heterosexual or mainstream. Those external perceptions about her arose as she would study German language, perceived as "a boy language" and when she began to practice taek-wondo, as this was perceived as a "boy sport". This had an impact on her own identity "I started to ask myself why am not feminine enough" and think about "which ways are gonna help me to be more feminine", she started to think that she "did not belong", as people around her saw her as tomboy. Part of her exploration on "belonging" was finding sources of "femininity" in Magazines such as "Teen Vogue." But she did not really feel identified with those traits, moreover she identifies this had an impact on her personality development and social interactions, as she became more introverted, "you have to put a mask on to fit in". She read a lot of psychology books to "understand why [she] was not feminine", and learned that children who are bullied lose their "space domination" within social interactions. "I imagine it as a train you are trying to catch. You are running and running and running and try to reach the handle and then, the train leaves and you have the handle in your hand, and you are left behind", she relates this feeling as a "traumatic impact" in your life as a female when trying to "put your voice on the table and dominate the space".
For Maria, this childhood photograph brings a connotation of "learning on setting your boundaries, feeling self-reliance and needless of external affirmation" as a woman.
She identifies three important meanings in this photograph. First this means a "breakthrough" period for her when being 13, since despite her health conditions at the time, she excelled at a body strength demanding sport. Moreover, she sees equality through this photograph, "You see different genders here. You see that both female and male can do the same sport equally well because both of them won first place but in different categories". Lastly, she sees change. "There are different generations here. Me, the 90's, my brother 2000's and behind the photo there is an older generation, the person who took the photo, my mom", through this, you can see "how people change their behavior towards gender. She chose to enroll both of her children, even though they were different gender, in the same sport", for Maria, this represents how her mother and people can "change their perceptions of womanhood and become more interested in gender equality".
Maria's gaze to her present
There are four aspects of Maria's life that she identifies have been affected by her FGS experiences. The first is her interpersonal relationships. There is a "fear to express my interests, how I spend my time, what my hobbies are, let parts of myself [be seen by my friends]", "I have the fear that I may be unusual for them… I still feel that I don't fit the female stereotype exactly". Nevertheless, her fears are not an impediment to feeling proud of her sense of womanhood, "I think that I have the best of both worlds. I am feminine, but I have a lot of hobbies and male characteristics". Moreover, in a romantic context, she feels that the FGS interpose on the dynamics of relationships, such as the way of dressing to be perceived in a certain way. She certainly perceives this as a factor that negatively affects her freedom of expression, as she thinks unless exposed to negative FGS, she would not be as introverted, "I would be more open to express my interests to other people and not have this double check in my mind". The second aspect is her academic and educational experiences, since she thinks she "does not have the freedom of choosing where [she] wants to be academically", "if I would have the strength to expose myself I would be more participative in my academic settings". Nevertheless, she slowly is letting herself step in her class settings with more confidence currently. The third aspect is the gender representations in professional settings. "Being seen as a mild person…, that because I am a woman I have to go to humanistic studies…they are [perceived] as mild studies, you don't have to do anything active… you just sit, study and write". Moreover, she thinks that she has been perceived in the same way in the job environment. Lastly, it is her freedom of movement as a lack of choice "you are pushed by your environment to make choices", "all the things I have done as a breakthrough and that I would announce to my family, was never perceived positively". But this she emphasizes, pushes her to learn different ways of negotiation to achieve her dreams and establish some choices.
"Finding MY Femininity", she chooses to caption her photograph. The photograph taken on the streets of the central city, denotes freedom in self-expression and a juxtaposition to what is looked at in a woman as soft and calm. The noise of the surroundings can be heard, while she chooses as her background a raw stoned wall. She points at her green beanie, the same that shows the label of "The North Face", known for outdoor-sports clothing. She points at it showing that her sense of womanhood and femininity is part of both worlds, the masculine, and the feminine traits; and that can be taken from her.
Ronja's gaze to the past
Growing up in Germany with her sister, mom and dad, her childhood was very "gender neutral", as she remembers always being introduced to games such as legos and participating in outdoor, nature and sporty activities. Her exploration and experiences through FGS were most visible through the influence of growing with her sister, as she perceives "girlier" than how Ronja identifies herself at that time. She remembers how there was a time when her sister's choices were a mark of reference on how she perceived femininity was, and wanted to explore it. Moreover, in her educational setting, she would remember having her first experiences with benign forms of FGS, as her teachers would think that "girls are naturally better at language studies than at mathematics". Nevertheless, she did not think that influenced her ways of seeing herself as different or incapable.
Ronja's photograph of her childhood represents the meaning of being a girl in different but equally valid and empowering ways. She chooses this photograph emphasizing the visual symbolism in the topic of differential femininity between her and her sister. Despite the fact that both are equally involved in what seems to be an outdoor sporty activity, Ronja denotes how "the blond[ness] and pink[ness] of her sister remains as a signature of her own identity regardless of the fact that they were both raised equally. Juxtaposing in a way, is Ronja on the right side, wearing more vibrant colors and in a comfortable posture to the camera. To her, neither identities were good or bad, they were just what they were.
Ronja's gaze to her present:
Despite the fact that Ronja expresses not having explicitly experienced the negative impact of FGS in her current life, she identifies a feeling of "fear of being perceived as 'emotional' or considered 'weak'". Throughout her different interpersonal relations as a student in Sweden, she perceives that there is a crucial role on how different disciplines of education are more prompted to have an impact on peoples' experiences with FGS. Thus, she finds it natural that as a Human Rights student and being surrounded by more female than male students in her class, she has not experienced the impact of FGS in an openly negative manner. Moreover, she holds a strong view on how the societal and political structures that reproduce FGS have a crucial role in the life of other women's life.
"Womanhood and being a woman is not one thing. Sensitivity and emotions are often considered a 'weakness' but they can be our strength if we choose to", Ronja emphasizes as her gaze to negative FGS. In this photograph, she has chosen to hold S.Sontag's book 'Regarding the Pain of Others', which denotes her empathy to the structures that affect women across the world as a result of negative FGS. She also choses a close up to her upper body, since they show accessories and the color of her sweater which has a pink-purple tone. That reminds her of the fact that she can like "girly things" but still not necessarily feel or identify as such, and there is nothing wrong with that. She closes up emphasizing that "changes are not an impediment for standing along with other women and for acknowledging their struggle".
Greta's gaze to the past
She grew up with a German-born mother, half Swiss-Swedish father and older brother in Sweden. One her first roles in womanhood was her mother, she grew up admiring "her braveness… and [not being Swedish] how she established very quickly". Her educational environment in Waldorf/Steiner school was very enriching and she remembers having a "free and independent childhood, feeling very empowered", surrounded very much by "female friends and not very much males". When she remembers the first notions of FGS, her memory goes to her clothing and hobbies and activities. "I got clothes from my brother, so I was wearing a lot of 'boy clothes.' But I was very 'girly' when it came to playing.. I had barbies, dolls, and I practiced ballet". As she grew up, her main influences on general female stereotyping started with her friends. Nevertheless, she asserts "society's pressure has not been very influencing on me". She links this to the fact that the access to mass media and electronic communication was introduced very late in her life, "the Waldorf school was even more closed community so we didn't really pick up the trends if we move to teenager years".
"Lotta på Bråkmakargatan." This was a book that we were reading when I was a child, and later a movie was launched, the picture is from the movie. She was a very stubborn child and she could often be mad at her surroundings for not taking her seriously. She also claimed that she "can do anything" (jar kan faktiskt allt) and she kept trying, for example she stole the neighbor's bike and crashed into the bushes because she hadn't learned how to ride the bicycle. Regardless of her behavior she always received a lot of love by her family. This shows that it is okay to be emotional, and it's brave to try new things. And you can always apologize if you make mistakes."
Greta's gaze into her present:
She recognizes that everyone is so different regarding personality traits, and finds it difficult to draw the line between FGS and the inner personalities that one as an individual holds. Nevertheless, she finds benign FGS as being an influence on how she perceives herself emotionally and in relation to her interpersonal relations. "When I get mad, the first thing is not to be outgoing, the first thing I do is that I wait and let the feeling sink in, because I never want to be that impulsive person that starts screaming, that is not how I identify myself." Moreover, when she thinks about romantic relationships, to her, men seem to have a fixed perception on women being "emotional" and therefore, being the ones "who always have to start" for creating closure and emotional connection. She also identifies an influence in her daily life; she extrapolates that into the "feeling of not being taken seriously as of course occurred because you're a woman", "I used to play Rugby, and in that sense I could feel [it]", she emphasizes when remembering how as part of the boys team, she would hear her mates commenting things like "yeah we have to be careful with her and she's fragile". For her, womanhood should be "the freedom to look and wear whatever you want and still be able to identify yourself as a woman", for her womanhood is about freedom, "I would love for us to be more brave in everyday life, being able to tell people when they are pushing us down". This statement brings her to a memory of a time when she encountered a misogynist conversation between two guys: "me and my mom went to a concert, and two guys were next to me talking about that if they were bosses and they would have an interview with a lady and then the other, and they both had the same experiences, but [if] one girl [would] have bigger breasts than the other, then they would take the girl with the bigger breasts". Right after hearing it, although feeling very nervous and somehow like crossing the boundaries, Greta felt like she had to step in "otherwise she would regret it so much", and it felt "so good after all". She remembers this as a "very empowering moment" that she wishes would do more if necessary. "We are continuously silent and not expected to do things like that", "we are always second guessing and being so cautious". A second aspect that she identifies is having being perceived as the care-taker when in a hard period in one of her family members' health. "I saw a big difference in what my relatives expected from me versus my brother", she perceives that there was a strong expectation of her being always there for her family and taking care of others.
"Emotions are powerful. Dare to show them, dare to acknowledge and express them. To yourself but also to the people around you." Greta emphasizes dearly that "What raises emotions is always something positive, because [she] know[s] that it moves [her] from the inside." With the intention of showing "emotion", she grabs her personal diary and sits where usually at the intimacy of her room. Expressing is sometimes hard to express freely, something that she wishes would change, so her diary represents that space of freedom and transparency in where she just is.
The gaze of a transcendent community of women: a shared struggle through diverse experiences
Through this project, women from different cross-cultural contexts have come together to change the hegemonic meaning(s) of womanhood. They have gazed at their past, at the "giving trees" that in a way or another they grew being depicted. But they have chosen to change those attached meanings to their past and speak from their present experiences, conditioned by FGS. For these five women, FGS arrived in different timelines and affected different areas of their lives that remain until the present time. Those structures of gender hegemony are traduced in their rights to have a good standard of living, mental health, balance in their interpersonal relations, fair representation in work and educational settings, freedom of expression and freedom of movement. These women represent a transcendent community gaze that, if diverse culturally and in temporality, remains a single voice of solidarity, empathy and resistance against negative female stereotyping. Photography and narrative in this sense, served as a powerful channel to practice freedom of expression and a form of human rights practice.
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